home is further

i hate being in my childhood home even more now

the second i stepped through the old dirty laundry room door all i could think about was our time here

one week together during christmas

where i shared the most important parts of my life with you, the very foundation of my being with you

i remember all the laughs we shared playing games together in this home with the people i love most

sitting in my childhood room looking at old photos and telling you stories of a past time

i remember how much my family loved you, how proud i was to call you mine, how easy and loving we were together.

how both my mom and dad adored you and told me they’ve never seen me be so myself and so happy

they thought you were the one

i had never brought someone home for a holiday before you

it’s sad to think that you held such a special and what i thought would be a permanent place in my heart and you discarded me as if everything we shared and built was nothing at all.