void

Sometimes I feel like I was just a passage of time— a person that could fill a void for you. But when my light began to dim and reality forced a choice, you ran—choosing to escape rather than face the inevitable hardships and reality of connection. Avoidance is what you taught yourself to do as a hurt child. Remember when you said you’d fight yourself for this relationship because I was worth it? But then you erased me like none of it ever existed. That’s what hurts most — not just the ending, but how you walked away from it like it never meant anything at all. Your coldness, your absence, your attempts to erase me from your life- that hurt. Not because I needed you to stay, but because you didnt honor the depth of what we were by how you left. What a shame. To not honor a connection for what it was.

I see the deeply hurt child who had to pretend everything was okay when it wasn’t. I saw the man trying to find himself in the wreckage of what he’d buried his entire life. And I loved you anyway. Completely.

And although I find myself angry in some moments, this sentiment is still true— I know you’re just doing the best you can with the tools you have. And I believe in you. I believe that one day, with time and honesty, and healing, you’ll stop running. You’ll face the thing that keeps pulling you away from love — real love. The kind that doesn’t ask you to be perfect or put together, but just present.

Love is a choice. It’s staying when things are hard. It’s being honest when you’re scared. It’s fighting for someone because your heart knows they’re worth it, even when your mind tries to convince you it’s safer to run. That’s the love I gave you. And it’s the love I’ll keep giving — to myself, and to whoever is brave enough to receive it. Love is like a mirror, right?